Parenting is truly one of the hardest things to do in life. And I've learnt that you never really appreciate your own parents until you have your own children. You also begin to see a lot of your deepest darkest sins come to the surface. Like selfishness, need for control, greediness, need I go on?
I'm sitting here writing this as I watch my own child grab her daddy's whisky flask off the shelf with a can of pringles. Am I going to stop her? Probably not. She's determined, stubborn, extremely strong willed and I get so much joy out of watching her explore and try to figure out how things work and her mischievous nature come into play. She's a great sleeper (and I know mum's hate to hear that from other mum's!) BUT the reason she sleeps great is because she EXHAUSTS herself all day. Anyone that has watched her knows exactly what I'm talking about. She is so incredibly full of energy that I often find myself looking at the clock saying "is it bed time yet??" and I see it's only 3pm.
We have number 2 coming in January so I have just started introducing the potty to Lily. Of course every mum hopes her child will be the one that takes to it like duck to water, and within three days they're out of diapers and proudly in their big girl underwear. Lily will not be that child. I found her this morning eating her cereal out of her potty, so it's going to take some time here. I actually thought we had a break through the other morning when she'd come into bed with me (hubs was on a camping trip) and I'd taken her diaper off. She jumped out of bed shouting "bye bye ma". Next thing she comes running in shouting "poo poo! poo poo!" So I jump out of bed thinking oh my yes, my daughter is one of the dream kids! She's done her first poop in the potty. Oh what was I thinking?! She takes my hand and leads me into her bedroom not the bathroom and she shows me her poop, on the rug, under the bed, beside her kitchen, on her books. So we still have some learning to do here.
Parenting is one of those things you can never be prepared for. And there are days where you just have to throw your hands in the air and just laugh. For a while I tried to be the everything wife and mother; keeping my home pristinely clean and in shape, having culinary dinners on the table, exhaustively trying to set a schedule for Lily. And I just fell apart, I was exhausted, I wanted constant affirmation from my husband, I wanted a pat on the shoulder for being such a good wife and mother. I was not enjoying life, I was becoming a major control freak. Then things happen, like Lily pulls all her diapers out of her diaper pail and smears the contents in her hair and on the floor, or she pulls out the eggs thinking they're soccer balls and throws them around the kitchen, or I find my car keys in the trash can, or I find cucumber pieces behind my ear, or I find her cleaning the toilet with her dad's toothbrush. The list goes on! But I can't control these things, and I don't want to. She's a toddler, she's curious, she's figuring things out and I need to pick my battles. I can't always be fighting my children. There has to be a balance.
I'm learning to see things through my daughters eyes and to have more fun with this stage of life we're all in. I'm learning to let go of the control and trust in the creator that made her. I love my daughter and the laughs that she brings to our lives everyday. She is constant entertainment. And I can't wait to see what our next little one will be like.
